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The Yam

We're like The Onion. But better. Sort of. Not really. We're similar.
The Yam has written 76 posts for The Yam

Cars Cause Traffic Jam Watching Cars In Other Lane Causing Traffic Jam Watching Them

Cars Cause Traffic Jam Watching Cars In Other Lane Causing Traffic Jam Watching Them

REPORT: Millions Still In Fear Of Brilliance

HOLLYWOOD, CA—In a desperate report written solely to prove self-worth, an aspiring production company, Sublimely Elegant Films, has declared that millions of Americans still live in constant fear of brilliance. According to the document, this widespread idiocy causes thousands of people a day to ignore and bad-mouth content that they are too dull to comprehend. … Continue reading

“Oh Man, So Fake,” Accuses Brave Porn Commenter

TACOMA, WA–The porn industry was rocked this week by accusations from Youporn commenter sweet_sniffer, whose four small words, “Oh man, so fake,” have called into question the presupposed authenticity of our nation’s pornography. The inciting comment, posted last Wednesday under a video entitled “College Babe Fucks For Office Job,” has since generated hundreds of thousands … Continue reading

“History Tends To Repeat Itself,” Repeats Historian

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—Sources at the University of Virginia confirmed today that respected history professor, Dr. James Fernum, 64, gave his regular end-of-semester speech to his 3:00 MWF Introduction to American History class this morning. “Let us all remember that history tends to repeat itself,” the tenured professor passionately proclaimed in front of the singularly apathetic gathering … Continue reading

Introducing Two New Opinion-Based Yam Sub-Sites

CHARLOTTE, NC—Giving into the popularity of opinion-based news, The Yam is proud to debut its two new one-sided news outlets – The Yam for Assholes and The Yam for Pussies. The Yam is overjoyed to be able to finally pander to these two similar yet completely different demographics. We’ll give you the news however you … Continue reading

5 Lies Exchanged During Supermarket Transactions

1.  “Hi. How are you today?” Both parties will exchange lies during this question. No matter who raises the question first—both lie through their teeth. Neither cashier nor customer will let the other know how shitty their day is. The customer would be the only who is having a good day. The cashier’s day is … Continue reading

Locally Filmed Web Series Featured In Local Paper By Author Involved In Web Series

PROVIDENCE, RI—In a display of little patience or talent, a locally filmed web series became a shining example of the old saying, “It’s all about who you know,” by being featured in the local newspaper. This will not only promote the lackluster series, but also attract potential talent to become part of the abysmal videos. … Continue reading

God Confesses He Was Conceived By A Big Bang

HEAVEN—Coming forward with details pertaining to our existence—our Heavenly Father has revealed that He Himself did not in fact will Himself into being. Rather, He, who is the Creator of the Earth and everything in the known universe, was immaculately conceived during, “some sort of big bang.” “Yeah, I mean, I created all this shit … Continue reading

Charlotte Leaders Unveil Giant Robot To Protect City

CHARLOTTE, NC—As the list of potential threats to our nation’s cities continues to grow—with terrorist activity, climate change, and political corruption all posing their own unique hazards—Mayor Clodfelter announced at a televised press conference Tuesday morning that his new proactive approach to city defense includes the “immediate and liberal use of a giant robot.” “As … Continue reading

Gettysburg Haunted By Still-Living Bodies Of People Who Didn’t Die There

GETTYSBURG, PA–With this July marking the 151st anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg–a bloody encounter that resulted in an unfathomable number of casualties, as well as a number of injuries that, while fathomable, is still unpleasant to think about–residents living near the somber battlefield have reported a massive surge in normal activity. “It seems to … Continue reading

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